The Metaphorist Explains, Pt. 3

You know how you have a big fight with your girlfriend and she calls you an asshole and a loser and a deadbeat and she tells you she wants her CDs back, and you say: "Fine, I always wanted to go out with your best friend, anyway"? And you do, and you and the best friend get along great and she cooks for you and cleans your house and lends you money? Only then your ex gets a nose job and a butt tuck and she starts looking really good to you? And you ditch the best friend and call your ex and say "Break up with you? Are you crazy? I never broke up with you. Baby, I never stopped loving you"?

This is like that.

The Metaphorist Explains is a regular feature of Minty Goodness.

The Metaphorist Explains, Pt. 2

You know how you're about 23 or 24, just old enough to have gotten a taste of independent adult life, only you find that independent adult life, with its crushing mix of obligations and responsibilities, has just kicked your ass? And although it's the very last thing you want to do, and an admission of defeat, and a humiliation, you have to call your dad and ask him to lend you some money?

This is like that.

"The Metaphorist Explains" is a regular feature of Minty Goodness.

The Metaphorist Explains, Pt. 1

You know that scene in "Shaun of the Dead" where Shaun jumps up on a trash bin and starts waving his arms around and yelling at the zombies to distract them? And the zombies actually fall for it, because they're weak-minded and slow and, well... zombies?

This is like that.